"The Hardest Goodbye: My Truth About Grief"

Hey readers! Welcome back to Journey Tales. As you can tell by title this is going to be deep discussion and real and emotional one. If you feel like this topic will be a trigger then I totally understand. It took me a while for to get a sense of understanding and acceptance myself as well and that why I'm here to share my story. All truth!

As we always say, let the journey begin

The Day Everything Changed

Dale Hughes was the father of three daughters: myself, my middle sister Deirdre, and my oldest sister Ebony. He was also the husband of our wonderful mother, Sherry.

He was an incredible dad, and my sisters and I were very fortunate to have such an involved father who taught us so much and supported us in various aspects and accomplishments in life. I realize not everyone is as fortunate to have a father like ours, and for that, we are forever grateful.

When "The Hughes Family" lost another piece of their puzzle. Damn, it hurt. This is a safe space, so yes, there might be some curse words, but I want to express exactly how I fell, raw and real. In that moment, I knew life would never be the same

The Emotions That Took Over

I had so many emotions running throughout me at one time.

• Sadness

• Anger

• Confusion

• Fear

  
  

When my family gets together , we laugh and love to joke around on one another . It’s so loud but it’s the type of loudness that fills the room with love and joy. But that night it was so much sadness the room was so dark, and you could anything. It was silent and quiet and for me scary.

Scary because what's NEXT?

Little did I know that Grief would be the hardest of them all

So, there's 5 stages to Grief

Let’s reflect on them and how it helped me

The Five Stages of Grief: How They Shaped My Healing

STEP 1

DENIAL - That's what I felt that night whenever we got the news, I didn't want to believe such a thing could happen. Like I knew of course one day it would happen but not "that day " you know! That when I truly learned, you never know the time, or place, or hour.

STEP 2

ANGER- Oh yeah, I was mad as HELL. But not at God- I was angry at myself. I kept asking myself what I could've have done to stop it. Along this journey I realized...there was nothing I could have done.

STEP 3

BARGAINING- I was very overwhelmed more because it was a lot to deal with at one time and when you have people asking you questions or calling you or this or that. It's like in that that exact moment you just honestly want to be ALONE and not bother at all and time to process what going around you. I went through the "what if" stage of what I could have done to change this process but then I knew nothing would bring him back

STEP 4

DEPRESSION - I don't believe I ever truly experienced depression. I say this because if I needed to cry, I would let myself cry, and if I wanted to discuss him, I would do so. However, there were moments when I simply wanted to be by myself to have some personal time to process my emotions and reflect in solitude.

Step 5

ACCEPTANCE- Now listen here this took a long time when I said a long time. Years even if I may say. At some point I knew life was going to keep going without him here. Is it fair "Hell no" but I couldn't stay in the stage of the unknown forever I had to keep going and thriving well at least try to.

Finding Joy Again

During my grieving process I wanted to stop crying so much. I was so tired of crying and asking "God" why constantly over and over again. I had to find a way to smile again despite the emotions and reality I was faced with. So, I began to reflect on his life and all the funny memories he left us to remember. As I'm typing this I am smiling because all I can think about is that missing front tooth and that smile. I learn process the sadness of him being no longer with the memories to bring happiness and that made the grieving process for me easier to process.

Reflections

This journey through grief reminded that it's okay to not be okay. It means facing what dealt to you but still continuing to be strong even in the silence. Heal at your own pace it's not a race it's your journey and I hope one day you find healing and you find the memory that makes you smile, take a deep breathe, reflect and know it's going to be fine.

"My father's love will always be the cast net that catches my heart."

If you've ever lost someone close to you, know that you're not alone. Everyone grieves differently, and every journey look different and here at Journey Tales. we're here for you.

If you'd like to dedicate this post to someone special, please drop their name or a picture below. Know that you and your family are always in our thoughts and prayers-always

Love, Journey Tales Family

See you all next time on Journey Tales

Dedicated To: Dale M. Hughes