From Hurt to Healing: How Bullying Transformed into Poetry

Welcome back to Journey Tales! Today, I am confidently sharing my story about one of my childhood traumas: BULLYING. This is a topic I believe many of us have encountered, unless you were the bully yourself. I will share how I overcame being bullied and found healing through poetry, while defeating my bullies without uttering a single word to them.

Let the Journey begin

TRIGGER WARNING: I have read numerous articles about young children that have tragically lost their lives to suicide as a consequence of bullying. It saddens my heart that bullying has caused so many deaths and that children feel that they have no one to turn to during those trying times. To those who have lost their lives due to bullying, I will continue to advocate on your behalf and be your voice.

Some of you may know me, and some might not, but this isn't an autobiography. It's more about how I saw myself when the bullying started. Here's what I thought about myself back then....

• big eyes

• freckles

• big bottom lip

  
  

Yeah, all the above pretty rough right. Well, I thought so too!

Let's start with my memories from elementary school. Kids would tease me nonstop, and it got so bad that I was scared to show up the next day. I still wonder why I ended up being the target. I was just a kind, sweet, and quiet kid who didn't bother anyone—guess that made me the perfect target.

They called me names such as:

• Poke Lip

• Cookie Monster because of, my freckles

• Bug Face

I used to be so happy and ready for school to be over so that I could just go home and sit on my blue bean bag and cry my eyes out. The only thing about that was before I got home, I had to deal with being bullied on the school bus as well, which made it even worse. At least at school, I could leave the room and go elsewhere, but on the bus, I had no choice but to sit there and take it. Luckily, I wasn't on the bus alone, and I had my sisters with me, but that's a story for another day.

So, I would get home and tell my parents about my bully. As any parent would, they called the school, had conferences and meetings with other parents, but it didn't last long. The bullying continued, and one bully became two and then three, and eventually, I just felt like the whole school was against me, and I was now afraid.

Now middle school was starting to grow up. Some not a lot though—at least at this point I wasn't crying in the classroom. Nope, I had graduated to crying in the school counselor's office while munching on potato chips. "She had some top-tier snacks!" Anyway, I'd pour my heart out to her about being picked on and how exhausting it was. It was like my self-esteem had been taken away. I'd come home, look in the mirror, and play a game of 'Spot the Flaw.' I'd pray to God to make my freckles disappear or make my lips smaller. Then I'd wake up and, surprise! Still the same old me.

Oh, and did I tell you I had a school crush back then too? He thought it was funny to tease me as well. I just couldn't catch a break, and I knew something had to change because there was no way I was starting high school still crying and looking like a little ... Forget it, I'm not going to let that word escape my lips!

So, guess what? My counselor recommended that I start a journal to fill with inspirational letters, notes, and quotes. and read them every single day. Anytime, anywhere—even during school, whether in the classroom, at lunch, or at recess. I did it! And then, my journaling started to rhyme and flow so well that I felt like the next "MC Lyte"!

I can admit was too afraid to confront my bullies, scared of getting tease again or maybe even beat up or even losing the little bit of friends I did have. One thing for sure though I was tired of crying all the time I didn't have any more tears or energy left to give into those people. So, I started to use my words. My journaling started out as any other journal entry.

Dear Journal,

                        Today was a rough day at school the kids made up some new names for me today. I held my head down on the desk the as tears fell in textbook and nobody knew (silent tears). Trying not to make any noise and make my body shivering so nobody would notice. (not like anyone cared). Oh yeah let me not forget to mention I hid in the bathroom stall until all the halls were clear…. up until minutes before the bell 🔔 rang then I would run into the classroom.... blah blah blah blah

🚨Foreclosure: I never got beat up in school. Mines were verbally harassments 🚨

So, that's the gist of it. Looking back, I was in a pretty gloomy and sad place, but hey, at least I was finally spilling my guts to someone other than my therapist. OMG, it felt amazing, and my journal became my friend, I took it everywhere! At school, it was with me at the cafeteria, gym and to grandma's house. That thing went everywhere with me I even slept with in under my pillow. I remember times when I'd reach for my journal in my locker instead of my textbook, and there I was in class, looking clueless.

Then I will never forget it was one day a bad day. I literally got teased from that morning I got on the bus and the entire day at school. Journaling couldn't solve any of my problems at all that day. As much as I tried to write, the words wouldn't come out. So, I began to write down a list of words and then put them in an order. Before I knew it, poetry entered into my life. Then a new me evolved.

Do y'all know the definition of poetry?

Poetry: " literary work in which special intensity is given to the expression of feelings and ideas by the use of distinctive style and rhythm" "Oxford Languages "

Poetry coming into my life was one of the best things that could've ever happened. I felt empowered, and I didn't feel so small and useless in this world. Poetry is so POWERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, AND INSPIRING. I began to write poems about everything and everyone. Love, family, school, my looks and etc. and it was starting to evolve into my passion. As I enter into high school, I took to poetry to help deal with all my problems and it HELPED!

The bullies' words had no longer had an effect on me. As they teased and called me names, trying to make me cry, I would recite a poem in my head or even start writing right in front of them, ignoring them. I had countless options to mask my feelings—drugs, alcohol, or even fighting back. But instead, I chose the power of words to transform my sadness and depression into pure happiness! I started smiling and feeling genuinely happy and motivated to do better and not let the bullies get to me. 😊

Even in adulthood, I still rely on poetry to navigate through life's challenges, reflecting on my journey along the way.

Dear Poetry,

Thank you for entering my life and providing hope and inspiration. Thank you for showing me that I matter, that I am important, and that my feelings mean something. Poetry, you have become my best friend, help me express thoughts I could never vocalize. You helped me discover a hidden part of myself and unleash a creation I never knew existed. I call it "MY Secret Weapon." I love you and you saved my life.

highlight the importance of empathy and understanding!